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Interview 6
Lou Conran is a comedian and writer. She is currently supporting Sarah Millican on her international tour, and was voted Comics Comic Best MC 20/21. She has performed up and down the country, Australia and is one half of the critically acclaimed podcast Spit or Swallow.
Do you consider yourself a feminist? If so, what led you to realise?
I am a woman therefore I am a feminist. I know that seems a simple answer but it is, to my mind, a logical response. One of my earliest memories was seeing a woman driving a car (I’m old and my mum didn’t drive, in fact not many women did where I was born) and I remember saying to my dad, “Look, a lady driving” and he probably said something like “Yeah, terrible isn’t it?!” Or some such dad response, but the image of her behind the wheel stuck with me and I remember thinking “Wow!” And from that point on at such an early age, I sort of realised that we, as women, can do exactly the same as the men and things shouldn’t be any different.
Name a woman who has significantly impacted your life and how.
Hmmm difficult one as there are so many, but career wise I’d say Victoria Wood. Women in comedy were a rare beast back when I was watching my four channels on the telly, and in a change to watching the likes of Miss World, or women being chased by Benny Hill, here was a woman, who was carving out her own path in the world, by being funny, alone, with her own words, and it hugely influenced me as a performer.
Share a pivotal moment in your career.
I used to do open mic spots at a club in Manchester called the Frog & Bucket. It was a bear pit, and the gong show was where a lot of Northern based comics cut their teeth. The MC would often be brutal to the acts that were rubbish, and the audience would love the gladiatorial patter. I would be nervous literally two days before the gigs, I wouldn’t sleep and I would quite often question why the hell I was putting myself through it. Cut to ten years later, and I find myself MCing the gigs and being that MC that was rude about the acts and baiting the audience. I mean, pivotal enough to make me realise how far I’d come.
Could you talk about an incident in your career where you felt you were treated differently because of your sex?
Comedy was always male dominated. You’d very rarely get a woman on the bill let alone two. I would quite often be booked where the promoter thought I was a man, and the absolute look of disgust when I’d walk in and say I was the act was quite the treat to behold. There was always a lot of “banter” (hate that word) and the green room chat was always interesting. You have to have thick skin in this business anyway but as a woman it was always tested so I can’t really talk about a solitary incident.
If you could have dinner with three women (alive or dead), who would it be and why?
My nanny Joan, she died a long time ago and I think it’s only when you get older that you realise you should have taken more of an interest in your relatives lives. Nanny was quite ill when I was growing up so I didn’t really see her that often but when I did she was a beautiful, gentle lady whom I wished I known more about. Secondly, there was a woman in Paris, a couple of years ago, who I sat next to outside a café in Montmartre on New Years Eve. She didn’t speak English, I didn’t speak French. She was trying to show me something on her phone, a portrait I think it was that one of the artists had done of her at some point (Montmartre is famous for it’s square of local artists) she was scrolling through her phone. On it, and I couldn’t help but see, were nude pics of her and various gentlemen, and she was unashamedly showing me everything in an attempt to show me the picture that had been drawn of her. We managed to sit together for a decent amount of time neither speaking each others language, but I found her absolutely fascinating, and I would really really like to know how a woman of her age (must have been about 70’s) managed to have such a great pair of tits on her, natural, pendulous and proud! I bet she has a suitcase full of stories. And thirdly, of course, Victoria Wood. I mean, why wouldn’t I?
What's the book that you always recommend to people and why?
A book recommended to me called “Who Moved My Cheese?” When you can’t see an easy solution to moving your life on then this is a gentle nudge and a reminder that being stuck in the same routine is not going to help!
Tell us about something that makes you angry.
People getting offended on other people’s behalf. This day and age people are so easily offended by everything. Jumping on the back of things that nine times out of ten have no relation to them, do not affect them, or have no relevance to them. I find it infuriating. Life’s often hard enough without adding to the stress of being upset and offended for a group of people, or a situation or something that has no relevance to you. I did a show in Edinburgh a few years ago about the loss of my daughter. I had a few messages from people saying that they thought I shouldn’t do it. When probed it turned out that each of the people that had written to me knew someone that had lost a child. They hadn’t. But they knew someone that had, and they thought I shouldn’t do my show because I might upset other people. Well, tough. If you have no experience of what I’ve been through then who are you to tell me I should or shouldn’t do something in case I upset someone you ‘think’ will be upset. We live in a world unfortunately at the moment where offence is taken so liberally that it is exhausting. When you’ve suffered, when you’ve been directly affected by something, when something directly changes your life, then, and only then can you have the right to be upset or offended. But offence by proxy is turning this world upside down and it drives me mad.
Share with us your favourite album and why?
I used to play Wet Wet Wet’s “Popped in Souled Out” on repeat as a teenager and I still would if I had a record player and the record!
Could you give us an example of everyday sexism you have faced recently?
I have recently had some building work done in my house. I was called “the boss”. Now that’s not bad but it’s really annoying when you’re the woman in your own house and a group of men decide that you are the boss because you get to decide where you want your plugs. Of course I’m the boss. I’m paying your wages! I was also gigging in Australia, and a bloke decided to tell me how to do my job. I recently won Best MC in the UK as voted for by my fellow comics. I think I know how to do my job. But this man thought he should tell the little woman how to run a room in a comedy club because I was obviously incapable of doing it.
What advice would you give to your eighteen-year-old self?
Don’t listen to anyone other than yourself when you are feeling that you can’t do something. You can. You are more capable than you think.
Tell us something few people know about you.
I am hyper-mobile. This is a blessing and a curse!
Thank you to Lou for being a brilliant interviewee! If you'd like to read the other editions in this series, click the buttons below.