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Interview 4
Megan Barton-Hanson is an English media personality, columnist and host of the chart-topping podcast, You Come First. She is best known for her appearance in the 2018 series of hit reality show Love Island.
After leaving the villa as one of the most sought-after TV personalities, Megan has since built an unapologetic and successful business built on helping women liberate themselves through body positivity and freedom of sexuality. She has since turned her courageous and candid approach regarding her own life experiences into a podcast that launched at the end of last year called You Come First. She has always been keen to give young men and women an honest, supportive and safe space as well as the confidence to share and speak about their own stories regarding their sexuality, physical and mental health issues, and absolutely nothing is taboo on You Come First. Megan works closely with a number of women’s interest publications such as Glamour magazine and is currently working with luxury female self-love brand, LELO. This year, she launched her own sex and relationships column in VICE magazine which has over 45m unique monthly browsers which will be turned into a digital series.
Season 2 of Megan's chart-topping podcast, You Come First, is out now on Spotify and Apple Podcasts.
[Photo and biography provided by IP Publicity, interview questions by Amy Norton, answers by Megan Barton-Hanson]
Do you consider yourself a feminist? If so, what led you to realise?
Yes, I guess I’ve always wanted to be equal to men. From a young age, if my mum said, “leave that job for the boys (my dad or brother) to do” it would infuriate me! I’d have to attempt it. I realised I was a feminist when I was 16 and was slut-shamed for the first time. I was baffled that men were praised for being sexual, but women were, and still are, shamed for it.
Name a woman who has significantly influenced your life and how.
There are so many amazing and inspiring, but if I have always found Amber Rose influential in my journey. She was the first woman in the public eye, that I was aware of, who embraced her past as a sex worker. She is honest, determined and an advocate for women being, and feeling, sexually liberated. I would love to have her on my podcast You Come First - she would be a dream guest.
Share a pivotal moment in your career.
It was after leaving Love Island. Unaware to me, whilst I was on the show, people were trolling me, making death threats and there were horrendous articles written about me. I was mortified and really upset. People seemed to have trouble accepting that as a woman on TV, I carried myself more like the male contestants than the female ones. I didn’t settle for less; I enjoyed the attention the guys gave me and went for what I wanted. For some reason, women who know what they want and make no excuses for it make people uncomfortable, especially men. But I decided to come out and unapologetically own my strength. I think people respected it and it’s allowed me to help so many other women feel empowered too. After leaving the show, I hope I’ve encouraged women to live their lives authentically, love themselves, and be open about their sexuality.
Could you talk about an incident in your career where you felt you were treated differently because of your sex?
The women on Love Island were most definitely treated differently to the male contestants. I received criticism for having sex with two different guys on the show. It was filmed over 8 weeks, and it was an adult dating show! I didn’t understand why people were so shocked. Two male contestants slept with multiple people too, yet were never once asked to justify their actions, nor were they criticised, or slut shamed. More recently, since I started creating content for Only Fans, I can sense that certain people, and some brands and TV shows have avoided working with me. This has been confusing. When male celebrities get topless for calendars or shoots, or guest start in Dreamboys, it is seen as ‘a laugh’, funny, or cool – they most certainly are not criticised. If women wish to profit from their bodies, or even show confidence in how they look, they are labelled and put into a box (this box usually can be difficult to escape.) For example, men are often happy for women to post sexy pictures on Instagram but become judgemental when we require that people pay for this kind of content on Only Fans.
If you could have dinner with three women (alive or dead), who would it be and why?
Frida Kahlo - she was openly bisexual, drank tequila and boxed (which in her time was seen as something only men did!) Legend.
Amy Winehouse - she was unapologetically herself, she didn’t put on an act like so many people in the public eye do and she was hugely talented. I’m obsessed with her music.
Amy Schumer - I have always been a fan and let me just add she does follow me back on Instagram - I almost passed out when I realised. Her comedy and openness about being a sexually empowered women made me feel normal growing up as I grew up in a time when hardly any women spoke about sex in that way.
What's the book that you always recommend to people and why?
I recently read Terri Cole’s Boundary Boss. It’s all about doing things for yourself and not for others. It really helped me identify when I was people pleasing and when I needed to be a bit selfish and look after my own needs. I think a lot of women are conditioned to put themselves second in life - there is so much pressure on us to be the best we can be as well as looking a certain way and behaving a certain way. Society’s rules can make it impossible to live authentically and can in turn make us unhappy. I would recommend this book to people of all genders and ages – if you find yourself getting down and need to be reminded that you are in control of your life and your happiness.
Tell us about something that makes you angry.
Women judging other women. We have been told how to behave for so long by men. Why are we putting other women down and judging others for doing what they want to do with their lives and their bodies!? We should be celebrating each other not trying to compete, or worse dragging each other down because we personally don’t agree with one another’s choices.
Share with us your favourite album and why?
Frank - Amy Winehouse. I loved Stronger Than Me, it was so earnest and straight- talking. I know there are lots of artists who have been as direct and raw as Amy Winehouse. This album was released at a time when I needed an album like Frank, and I love it to this day.
Could you give us an example of everyday sexism you have faced recently?
I was recently buying a new car and the salesperson asked me if I had driven a car that big before - or if I wanted something smaller and less powerful. They asked if my boyfriend was going to be driving it too. I told them it was “all mine, baby!” I thought that was an odd comment.
Is there an issue facing women today that you feel most concerned about?
Wow, where do you even start?! I think a primary concern right now is our safety, especially in the streets - women being taken, abused, and killed in seemingly safe areas. I would love some men to realise how lucky they are. Many women are frightened to go jogging or pop to the shop after dark – men can do this without thinking twice! I recently read about a woman being attacked on New Year’s Day at 5am. It’s disgusting to see innocent women treated this way simply because of their gender. I’m also concerned about the lack of support for sex workers. We are simply not doing enough - it is not our job to judge them or deter them, but to ensure the perpetrators of violence are held accountable. It is imperative that society provide a level of protection to the most vulnerable women in society, regardless of their chosen line of work.
What advice would you give to your eighteen-year-old self?
Stop trying to please everyone else! Stop feeling the need to justify yourself! People are always going to have opinions, whether it’s from a desire to be protective or to judge or simply because they’re insecure. You can’t please everyone, so look out for yourself and make decisions for you.
Tell us something few people know about you.
I think people see me as this man-eater from how Love Island was edited – going after what I want. And I can be feisty and quite blunt, as you can probably tell from my Instagram stories – I really do say exactly what I think and am not afraid of backlash. I’ve had a LOT of backlash over the years, it doesn’t affect me anymore – I speak my truth and don’t feel guilty about it – it has been truly liberating!) Whilst I don’t hold back, I am actually quite softly spoken and can be really introverted at times. I can also be quite funny which people always say they are surprised by! I have a deadpan, dry kind of humour - I’ve had a
few people choke on their drinks after a one liner! I worry though that people like to see women, especially those in the public eye, as one dimensional, but really, I’m a human and I’m complex and proud! One evening I’ll be out socialising but there’s the other side of me that just likes to stay in with a cup of tea and read a book.
I would like to say a big thank you to Megan for participating in my interview series. If you enjoyed this post, why not give the other three a read!